Next month sees my least favourite ‘holiday’, St Valentine’s Day, and yet I am leading a Petite Retreat based around love. Why?

St Valentine was a Christian priest under Roman occupation, who fought for the right for soldiers to marry their beloveds (it was believed that love and marriage would distract soldiers from their warrior calling). For defying Rome Valentine was imprisoned, there he fell in love with his jailor’s blind daughter, and also healed her sight. Valentine was executed, but before he did he left a note for his beloved signed, ‘from your Valentine’.

Valentine’s Day, though, has turned the gift of love into a mass marketing exercise; gifts are available from the ridiculously pricey to the outrageously tacky, and any event that happens on Valentine’s Day has a premium price-tag. I guess this is just business, but a side effect is that anyone who is not in a loving relationship feels left out, lonely, worthless, desolate. Although I am now happily married, I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 22, and I desperately remember those single years.

For me, the problem with Valentine’s Day is that it focuses on only one type of love, eros, the passion between lovers. In the languages of the Bible (Hebrew and Greek), there are many more words to describe love: the love between friends, between family, between community, and the love of God.

Jesus spoke about love a lot, calling his followers to love God, to love themselves, to love their neighbours, and even to love their enemies. Love is a way of life, not just one day of hearts and flowers and being wined and dined .

 God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God lives in them.

1 John 4:16

The wedding ceremony begins with this sentence from the Bible. As a priest it has become a verse I know well within the context of the love between 2 people. I tell each couple whose wedding I conduct that by marrying in church they have invited God into their marriage, and to feel free to call on Her whenever they are struggling to love each other. I am also reminded of the wider community at a wedding, all those who promise to love and support the couple in their marriage, but also, as I look out at the congregation, that there are so many different loving relationships that we share that are all incredibly important.

Living in love has nothing to do with what Valentine’s Day has become, so what is it?

Living in love is about receiving the unconditional love that God has for us and allowing it to spill out into our everyday lives to all whom we may come into contact with. Living in love affects our ethics, the decisions we make about how we spend our money and our time, and how we connect with our neighbours.

This February why not join me for a day, or an evening, finding out more about what it means to live within God’s unconditional, abundant, love?

To book your place at the Petite Retreat Friday 11th February, Lopcombe Quiet garden contact me at priestwithoutportfolio@gmail.com or call 07813519092. The day will include 3 guided meditations, closing prayer, the opportunity for one-one time with the retreat host, use of the gardens, art equipment, mindfulness knitting project, lunch, and a small take home gift. £40 per person.

To book your place at Live in Love Online (Thursday 10th February from 6.30pm, or Saturday 12th February from 10am) click here or email priestwithoutportfolio@gmail.comor call 07813519092. The online retreats include a retreat package posted to you ahead of the day with reflection cards and gift, 3 meditations, closing prayer and the opportunity for one-one time with the retreat host. £15 per person.

I would love to welcome you to an alternative expression of love this February.