This week I held three Online Retreats to mark the beginning of Lent. Throughout the day we gathered together for three guided meditations, sharing how God had spoken to us in the in-between time, then closing with a time of Compline and the Imposition of Ashes. Ahead of the days I posted out to each guest a personal package which included four envelopes to opened at each stage of the retreat. These included glossy, colour, A5 sheets to accompany the reflections and to be considered in the quiet time that followed. The final envelope contained the service sheet and readings for the gentle night prayers of Compline, as well as the ‘ashes’ ready to mark the sign of the cross on the palms of our hands. Also a small gift: this retreat it was a handmade salt dough prayer pretzel inscribed with the words ‘fast, pray, give’, together with a very potted history of the pretzel. Pretzels were given to parishioners by Monks to remind them to pray through Lent, the ‘knot’ being symbolic of arms in prayer.

In terms of business, these quiet days were a bit of a flop. I had one guest for the first day, two for the second. I did make a small profit, but hardly enough to feed a family of four.

In terms of ministry though, each day, each person, was a gift and a blessing. I had considered asking the guest from the first day to relocate to the other to ‘bulk up’ on numbers. I was glad that I didn’t. This day was just perfect for my guest, she was to be ordained priest the following day, but due to covid etc no priesting retreat had been planned for her. I remember my own priesting retreat with fondness, and thankfulness, it was an honour to be conducting this one to one priesting retreat for my guest; and as we prayed during compline I was blessed by her priestly ministry.

Building any business during a pandemic is complicated, if not impossible. I haven’t yet made a loss on any retreat, which is good news, I have only had positive feedback, and have even had repeat custom. As a ministry this is good, Godly, growth, but I have to account for it as a business.

So I am left pondering, is this ‘Priest without Portfolio’ a businesswoman? Or a minister of God’s love and grace?

There is other growth too: covering Sunday services in parishes who are in-between clergy, but to be honest, the fees for this are designed to be more of a ‘tip’ for retired clergy on a pension, than for young(ish) clergy trying to make a living. I have gained two new Spiritual Directees (guests?) this week to add to the two other regulars who I meet with monthly. I am about half way through the excellent course at Sarum College now, and my fees reflect this; once I am fully trained I can adjust the fees, but I am reluctant to price anyone out of something I personally have found so valuable in my own life and ministry, and which has been gifted to me at no charge.

So I return to the question: Am I in business?

My advisor with Universal Credit sees me as self employed. She would like to know if I have a business plan. I don’t. As a minister I trust God to grow whatever this may be organically. I pray to God ‘send me more people’, and a booking form arrives for a bespoke retreat I am leading, a Spiritual Direction enquiry returns to me and confirms a date for us to meet, somebody else asks to recommend me to a rather ‘alternative’ community as someone who would open mindedly offer prayerful listening, and I am asked to conduct a funeral.

I began this blog with the strapline ‘following God with no-where to go’, I have since changed it to ‘following God to new places’. I keep seeking to follow God into new ministries, and pray that the business will follow too.